My UC Showed Me The Beauty The World Has to Offer
This last week marked three years since I got diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. May 2, 2014, was the day that completely changed my life. Some might think it changed for the worse. I on the other hand think that my UC comes with a lot of positives. Don’t get me wrong, the last three years have been the hardest of my life, but I’ve learned so many valuable lessons.
It amazes me how much you don’t appreciate what you have until you feel like your entire world is crashing down on top of you. My health has been anything but smooth sailing since I got diagnosed. Unfortunately, I’m the patient that seems to get a lot of uncommon side effects to many of the drugs I’ve been prescribed. It’s been three years and I have yet to find a medication combo that is perfect for me. As discouraging and as frustrating as that is, it’s okay.
By no means am I always positive and happy. There are plenty of times where I leave the doctor’s office feeling disheartened and hopeless. In fact, for the first year after I got diagnosed I was unbearable. Instead of #BonItOut, I was ashamed and embarrassed. I felt like my UC was something to be embarrassed about and the worst thing that could possibly have happened to me. I was at my gastroenterologist’s office every other week, taking 22 pills a day, gaining weight, and couldn’t sleep. At 17 years old I felt as if I was trapped inside of an 80-year-old’s body with nowhere to go and no answers. Then one day something clicked. I realized that embracing our flaws, illnesses, struggles, or whatever it might be is how we find beauty in everything. That is one of the most valuable life lessons I’ve ever learned.
Three years have gone by including five endoscopy scopes, six chest x-rays, over 75 tubes of blood, and thousands of pills swallowed. At 20 years old, realizing that I’ll most likely have this disease for the rest of my life can be overwhelming. Although it’s overwhelming, it’s also a blessing. Embracing my autoimmune disease allows me to love me for who I am. Accepting my imperfections and hardships has shown me all the beauty that comes along with every one. A lot of people have told me that I have been dealt a rough hand, but in all honesty, I really haven’t.
The hand that I’ve been dealt might be less than ideal on occasion, but I have a supportive family, great friends, and all my dreams are coming true. My UC has given me the strength, courage, and mindset to conquer all the obstacles life wants to throw my way. After I got diagnosed I had a choice. I could either hate my life and let my disease control me or I could love my life and control my disease. It’s pretty clear which choice I made. You all have the same choice in your own lives.
Embrace, own, accept, and love everything about yourself and your life. Find the beauty and positive in every situation you face and you might just learn a valuable lesson. You might just find that you enjoy the world more than you thought possible.
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[…] For me I feel this way because of my medication. However, I realized that depression and anxiety take a huge toll on those that it affects. Maybe they feel confused or embarrassed in everyday situations. Maybe they lash out over silly things at times and feel like there’s something wrong with them because of their emotions. It’s okay to feel this way but it’s not okay if you take it out on the people in your life. The most important thing is to recognize that you have all of these emotions piled up so you can address them in a manner that’s right for you. Maybe you need to be on anxiety medication, see a therapist, or even post everything on a blog (#BonItOut). For me, I sat down with my SO and asked him to be patient with me. I asked if he would remind me to take a few deep breaths then remind me of all of the great things going on in my life. There are times where I need the help of my friends and family so they can show me the beauty in everything. […]