A Devastating Lack of Self Confidence

Today I facilitated a dialogue over vocation for an Archway Seminar – full of freshman – at the college I attend, Nebraska Wesleyan University. For those of you that don’t know what vocation is I’ll explain the theme of my dialogue.

A lot of teachers, especially those teaching freshman classes, want the students to explore who they are and their aspirations in a deeper meaning. So, the purpose of vocation is to try and ask students questions to get them to think about their lives, their identity, and their future. One thing that I’ve noticed throughout the dialogues I’ve facilitated over vocation is that students generally don’t understand the purpose or find any value. Which is very unfortunate.

These are the questions that I ask:

• Describe what you see what you look in the mirror. What kind of person do you see?
• What’s been the most significant, meaningful, gratifying experience/event you’ve been apart of? What was meaningful about it?
• When you were younger, what did you dream of doing? Sometimes those dreams are “given up” as we become adults. Why do you think that is?

A devastating lack of self confidence

When we came together as a big group to discuss common themes that students found in the responses given, I was devastated to hear their answers. A lot of the students said that when they look in the mirror they pick themselves apart, especially on bad days. Other students said that the dreams and aspirations that they had when they were 14-15 didn’t seem possible anymore – for most of these students that was three years ago. My heart shattered hearing these responses because it made me realize just how little self confidence people have nowadays.

These students entered college and then immediately felt like they needed to set limitations on what they’re able to accomplish or aspire to be. Why is that? Is it because they felt like their pathway would be too complicated? Is it because someone told them not to take that pathway? Or is it because these students lack the self confidence needed to know that they’re capable of anything they set their minds too? Whatever the case may be, it needs to stop!!

Every single person is capable of achieving anything and everything under the sun. I firmly believe this. I also believe that the only limitation that’s put on any of us comes from within. These students need confidence and encouragement. We need to be reminding students, children, friends, and family that self confidence is powerful enough to guide you to your dreams. We need to be encouraging the people around us to reach for the stars, to learn that struggling is okay, and that the only way to succeed is through failure. Believing in yourself, removing all of your personal limitations, and ignoring any negativity someone might try to shed on you will give you the strength to conquer anything.

I struggle with this just like everyone else. I know that I set internal limitations without even realizing it. The second I hear myself say, “But I don’t think I’d be good at that. I couldn’t possibly be able to do that.” I know that I’ve already limited myself and convinced myself that I can’t do something – majority of the time I’m wrong.

Believe in yourself. Trust that you can do anything you set your mind to. Never lose hope or fall out of love with your dreams. And be confident in yourself so you never limit your personal growth.

#YouDoYou – The Bon