Happily Ever After

I have this desire to grow up way too fast and I realized that I’ve always had this desire. When I was in elementary school I desperately wanted to be in middle school. When I was in middle school I desperately wanted to be in high school. When I was 13 I desperately wanted to be able to drive. When I was 19 I desperately wanted to be 21. Now, I’m 21 and I want to get engaged and move in with my boyfriend (Brandon).

Why do we torture ourselves?

As children and young adults we waste so much of our time wishing we were older or wishing we could grow up faster. I’m a junior in college and I’m still torturing myself with the idea of growing up faster than I need to. I have found the man that I want to be with forever, so we plan on moving in together in August. At 21, I feel like I’m right on track. I’ll be shy of 22 and he will be shy of 24, I don’t think we are rushing into that. BUT!! Where I seem to be struggling is the idea that we need to get engaged like uhhh… yesterday. We need to be planning our life together and moving forward… Well, no we don’t. Slow down, Bon. Forever is a long time, so why rush things now?

My brother (Blake) is about to get married and his fiancé (Camilla) happens to be one of my closest friends. (YAY for them!!) I keep telling Camilla that she’s the reason I’m so crazy about wanting to get engaged. Watching them plan their wedding and being apart of something so beautiful has made me extremely anxious for my turn. The truth is, it’s not her fault. This is her time and I’m just in the background jealous because I think this is where my relationship needs to be. So, I realized something this week…

We are impatient.

We are extremely impatient. Just because Blake and Camilla are getting married does not mean that I need to be rushing into anything with my relationship. I still want to get engaged, I’m a girl so I can’t help it. But, just because I want something doesn’t mean that it has to happen immediately. Instead of enjoying my time with Brandon I was obsessed with trying to figure out when we would get engaged, why he wanted to wait, etc. I was wasting valuable time trying to grow up too fast.

Growing up too fast.

Everyone has been there, everyone understands. The problem is that from the time we are in elementary school to the time we are settled with a job and a family, we are never pleased with where we are in life. Sometimes being settled with a family still isn’t enough. Sometimes we are constantly waiting for the next thing, the next best job, house, child, grandchild, etc…. The list goes on and on. We often forget to stop and appreciate what we have right in front of us. We often forget to enjoy the moment we’re in. We get caught up in our futures, our hopes and dreams, that we forget that while we’re waiting for the next best thing we are currently ignoring our current best thing.

I feel like it is human nature to want to grow up too fast. We want to rush childhood because being an adult seems really cool! Then when we are stepping into adulthood we realize how cool it seems to be successful and established, so that’s all we can focus on. I think it’s fabulous to have aspirations and dreams but we still need to be able to separate present and future. I’ve spent a good amount of time forgetting to live in the moment because I’m dead set on reaching the next step in life. Whether that’s with school, getting a car, moving in with my SO, or getting engaged… I forgot to enjoy life. I forgot to live everyday like it’s my last. I was forgetting to see the beauty in everything.

Throughout every stage of life there are always highlights and there are always things to look forward too. Whether it’s school dances, football games, debate tournament, graduation, first day of college, your first job, engagement, marriage and kids, retirement, etc. there are always things to enjoy and be thankful for. Stop wishing you were older, stop wanting to rush into things, stop living for the future of unknowns and enjoy the present; you never know when it could be your last.

Someday, when we are all really old (85+), we are going to wish for some of these days back. We are going to reflect back on our lives and wish we could enjoy our college years over again, or our time with siblings/friends/family. These moments are precious. Life will continue to happen at a steady rate regardless of how fast you want it to go and you will miss these days/years. Enjoy them while they’re here and patiently wait for the years to come.

#BonItOut – The Bon