Having a hard time surviving wedding planning in 2020? Yeah, I went through the same thing.

There is no question that with a wedding comes a lot of joy and happiness. What most people don’t like to tell you is the amount of stress that comes along with planning a wedding, especially when your wedding took place in 2020.

Brandon and I got engaged August 30, 2019 and our wedding was August 15, 2020. Let me tell you, what a year that was for us!! Full of joy, stress, sorrow, pain, and uncertainty. We were very proactive with setting a date and making the proper arrangements. I kid you not, we had basically the whole thing planned in a few days! Well, not quite. But we had finalized the date and secured the venue within 24 hours.

The first month was awesome. I went wedding dress shopping, asked my bridesmaids to be a part of our special day, had a blast taking engagement photos, you know all the typical wedding fun. But, towards the end of September we found out that I was going to need to get my colon removed. Here comes the stress and concern.

Did this all really just happen?

There were a lot of questions that needed to be asked and a lot of things that needed to be sorted out. Was I going to be healthy enough by our wedding date? Was this something Brandon and I were both ready for? What changes were going to need to be made in order to have a smooth transition to our new life? Will the dress that I just bought still work with an ostomy bag? Are we going to need to redo our buffet menu?

Thankfully, I was recovered and doing great come the beginning of March. Therefore, as far as we thought, we were going to be stress free leading up to our upcoming wedding date. Knowing that everything was now taken care from an ostomy standpoint.

Originally, we were supposed to get married May 9, 2020 with COVID-19 we ended up having to postpone our wedding from May to August (like a lot of brides did) and let me tell you… that was very stressful. We had less than 45 days to go until wedding day, everything was finalized and ready to go, then BAM… everything gets placed on hold and our countdown jumps back up to 145 days.

Long story short, we ended up having the wedding of our dreams – even in a world of COVID. Our wedding went off without a hitch and with no COVID scares. Therefore, a perfect wedding is still possible in 2020 and 2021! Regardless of what anyone says.

Here are my tips and tricks:

• Don’t take it personal
  • There will be people who are going to be extra cautious of attending your wedding. They may not want to stay for the reception, may not want to give out hugs, or take photos. These people are probably high risk or know someone who is high risk and cannot risk the exposure. Do not take offense to this, they feel worse than you do about potentially not attending your wedding.
    • My husband and I had a lot of family that weren’t able to attend due to COVID and their risk of exposure. It was unfortunate and heartbreaking. But at the end of the day it was what was best for everyone, it did not greatly impact our day. Some of our family members just came for the ceremony and left right after, at least they were there and comfortable!
• Facebook Live or Zoom your wedding
  • There will be a lot of people that might not be able to come to your wedding for the above reasons; or maybe they can’t attend due to venue capacity restrictions. Provide a virtual option for those that aren’t able to make it or those that had to get cut from your guest list due to restrictions!
    • I sent out a virtual invite and a formal invite. We streamed our wedding on Facebook Live and added our virtual guests to a private FB page where they were able to watch the ceremony while it was happening! We received great feedback and it was a hit!
• Ignore other’s opinions
  • It’s inevitable that people will warrant unsolicited wedding advice and opinions. “It has to be done this way,” “This is how we did it in my day,” “You’re still having a dance with COVID?,” “You have to do plated dinner not buffet,” “You’re buying masks for everyone, right?” Whatever the opinion is, ignore it. Hearing everyone’s two cents will do nothing but add more stress to the situation. You’ve already considered all other options and scenarios, you don’t need to continue to explain yourself or your decisions. At the end of the day, it’s your wedding and what you want is all that matters.
    • Every single bride and groom deal with this specific scenario. For Brandon and I, we noticed that COVID made it worse. As if people thought we were planning on being selfish with adjusting to new CDC and government restrictions. Once we finally decided to just nod our heads and have everything going in one ear and out the other we were much happier and waaaaaay less stressed! It’s hard to do, but very important to remember.
• Have everything finalized one whole month prior to the wedding
  • How many of us are procrastinators? Most of us, at least with some things. Weddings are a lot of work, some things are repetitive, some things are extremely time consuming. Planning your wedding is not always exciting and fun. You may think you’ll have time the month leading up to your wedding, but you won’t. You’ll be stressed, anxious, and excited. The closer it gets to your big day the less you’ll be able to focus. You’ll want to spend that time preparing for your honeymoon, finishing up the final touches on last minute gifts or surprises, and RELAXING.
    • My mother-in-law advised that I have everything finalized and completed a month before the wedding and it was the best advice I ever received. That way I had time to focus on some fun surprises for out of town guests, I was able to relax without worry of a wedding appointment, or a close deadline, and I able to enjoy the weeks leading up to our wedding knowing that everything was taken care of. Trust me. You won’t regret it!

And some sanitary tips and tricks:

• Spend the extra money to have small personal sized hand sanitizers at each table
  • With COVID it’s obvious that hand sanitizer is extremely popular, and you can never have enough of it. I recommend putting 2-3 bottles on each guest table for everyone to use throughout the reception. Let them know that you care about their safety and wellbeing. It will also reassure the guests that you are doing all you can to follow recommended guidelines and regulations, yet still having fun.
    • Mini hand sanitizers was a major hit at our wedding. We received so many compliments from our guests. It might be something to consider while looking over your budget. Provide a stress-free way for you and your guests to keep things clean!
• Trust that your guests and venue will follow appropriate CDC guidelines
  • You cannot babysit everyone on your wedding day – nor should you have to COVID or not. Instead, trust that the guests are responsible and know what is expected. If your venue has specific rules, inform all of your guests and then stop stressing over it. You should not be responsible for providing masks for every guest – especially if there’s a mask mandate, they should always have it one them anyways! It is not your responsibility to make sure everything is six-feet apart or that everyone comes with a mask. Your venue should handle all of the social distancing requirements for your ceremony and reception, and your guests should know what’s expected of them in public places. If you have out of town guests, then update them on mask mandate! After that, let it go and trust that they will be responsible. You don’t need the added stress.

Ready… Set… Go… STRESS FREE(ISH)

There are a hundred different things that you can do to make preparing for your wedding less stressful and more enjoyable but the most important thing to remember is: Your wedding day is your day. Other’s opinions, wants, desires, and advice is irrelevant. You need to do what’s best for you and your spouse and make your dream wedding come true, not someone else’s. Don’t forget the wedding party is there to help when needed. Ask for help when you need it, and remember to enjoy your night. There are ways to still have a fabulous wedding even during a pandemic, so don’t focus on the “what ifs” or all the things that could happen. Just do you, relax, and enjoy!

#YouDoYou

The Bon